What good there is left in so deeply hurted and hate filled heart?

  If there was darker place than darkness, Barnabas surely knew it. After being prison 196 years, for Angelique, for his own past, for hopelessness and sorrow of seeing his one true love dying right front of his eyes. Barnabas knew the darkness that has been around him, everywhere, through these years, but he didn't knew darkness that Angelique had lived with.
  He had started to see most terrifying dreams, nightmares of wars and terrible accidents. He often woke up for his own need to have blood he had seen so much in his dream, yet his noble mind was upset of these dreams.
Victoria was sure that Angelique was behind his nightmares, but Barnabas didn't think it was Angelique who caused them.
 "Barnabas, ever since she came back, pretending to be this new woman, you have defended her from all we suspect." Victoria said. She didn't want to believe that Barnabas felt something for Angelique, but how could she deny the truth when it was right front of her eyes.
 "My dear, I don't defend her any more than I would defend someone else if am sure she is innocent for this." Barnabas answered. "Have you seen her doing her evil curses since she returned?"
Victoria looked down "No."
"Have you seen, or ever heard, that she had come near Collinwood in order to harm us?"
"You said you fear she might.."
"I feared so, but have you seen she has done it?"
"No."
Barnabas smiled to her gently and placed his finger under her chin and made her look up to him. "I don't believe Angelique will ever change so completely that she will stop her evil doings, but I would be fool if I blamed her for something so natural as simple nightmares. She is indeed busy with her company at the moment. I doubt she has time to bother us with such little tricks."
Victoria smiled as well, "And you want to be sure before blaming her."
"Yes. It would be incredibly fool to anger her by blaming her about something we cannot be sure she has done."
"That is true." Victoria nodded. "We can't give her a reason to start another fight."
"I knew you would understand." Barnabas smiled.
Victoria took hold of his hand. Now that she thought, Barnabas was right. They couldn't blame Angelique for every unpleasant thing that happens to them, it would be downright stupid. Angelique would surely get angry and in worse case destroy all what they had left of Collinwood, or show to people in town what kind of monsters they were and lock them both away.
 Barnabas kissed her lightly and stand up, "Excuse me a minute my dear, I wish to speak with Elizabeth about rebuilding of the manor."
Victoria nodded, "Sure. I will be here."
Barnabas smiled to her and left to look for Elizabeth.
  Ever since Collinwood has burned, family has stayed in old wing. Many of old rooms were saved from fire, and they were good enough for family to live in after they had cleaned all the dust.
 Barnabas walked through the manor and suddenly stopped to look at the door at the end of the hallway. He walked closer and slowly opened the door.
 Looking in the room, filled his mind with many memories.
It was Angeliques old camber.
 He closed the door behind him and sit down on the bed. Small room was full of dust and spider webs, but it still had that slight fresh smell of sea air.
He had never fully understood how Angelique had smelled so fresh, even she lived down there, worked in dirty places and bathed with cold water that surely haven't wash her perfectly.
 Still she had always been fresh like wind from sea. Wild and free.
Maybe that was one of the reasons he had found her so interesting.
He looked at the small bedside table. Next to half burned candles, was book.
He ifted the book and wipe most dust away to see what the book was about, smiling to the memory. It was very same book he had given her when they first had started their dance lessons.
 He placed the book back to the table, but piece of paper that was fallen from between pages, catched his attention.
 He pick up the paper and figured out it was a letter. A letter, Angelique was meant to give to him.

 My dear Barnabas, 
There is something I should have tell you long time ago, but I was too afraid of losing you. I never imaginated I could love someone so much, as I love you. 
You must believe me my love, I could do anything for you. If love itself could love, I'd still love you more than that. 
 I have been burning with desire to tell you many things. 
Do you remember when your parents punished young Antonio to death? It was because I lied. I lied to protect you. My love, I was pregnant, I tried to hide it for long time but your mother noticed. I was sent to meet doctor and our child was cut out. I had to watch as they burned all that was meant to be our child. I got the ashes, and I throw them to the ocean. There our child will be free like mermaid. More free than I could ever be. 
  And something else I wanted you to know. 
I am not what you think I am. I have some abilities, many others doesn't. 
I swear, I have ever used my abilities to hurt anyone. I never will. I made you potion so you'd get better when you had fever, but I swear I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you or your beloved ones. 
 My god, I love you. If you could live with that I am more than just ordinary woman, I could do anything. Whatever you want, I would give it to you. 
 I love you my dear. 
Forgive me, I didn't told you before. 

 Love, 
       Angelique


Barnabas read through the letter few times and sighed, closing his eyes.
Angelique haven't always been so twisted and cruel. She was loving and sweet woman once, not meaning to hurt anyone. She was even tried to tell him what she was, promising she wouldn't do anything bad with her powers.
He could only blame himself for that she became who she was now.
He looked at the letter again. She had been carrying their child, and she was forced to lose it. He couldn't even imagine how awful she had felt. It was most cruel thing he could know for a woman so sweet as she once was, watching her own child to rip out of her and burn.
  He placed the letter carefully in his pocket, keeping in mind to ask Angelique more about the child they lost.
 He stand up from bed and turned to leave the room, suddenly stopped as he saw her standing front of him. His black hair messy, her old dress dirty and slightly broken here and there, her hands full of bruises. Tears fall down her cheeks like waterfall.
 "Angelique.."
As he stepped closer, she disappeared.
Barnabas blinked few times, realizing it was hallusination.
He quickly left the room and closed the door behind him until he go to look for Elizabeth.
    Following night as everyone were settled down to sleep, Barnabas took Angeliques letter again and read it through.
How much Angelique had loved him indeed. She had been willing to risk her very life for him. Even though, if he thought about it, back then he was quite in love with her. He probably would have been shocked first, but in the end he would have keep her secret.
  He fell asleep, keeping the letter close to him.

... "You cannot catch me!" Angelique giggled and run through the garden.
"I only let you think so. I am a gentleman." Barnabas smiled.
"Don't be so boring my love, catch me!"
Barnabas run after her and wrap his arms around her, hugging her close.
She turned around and hugged him back.
"See, I was able to catch you." Barnabas said.
Angelique looked at him playfully and pulled back a bit. "Maybe I just let you catch me."
Barnabas pretended to be shocked. "Miss Bouchard, how dare you?!"
Angelique tried to get away from him but he hold her tighter and tickle her, making her laugh.
 "Barnabas, stop it! Stop it, I said! This is not fair."
"What did you say my dear?" Barnabas asked, not letting her go.
Angelique giggled and finally run away.
Barnabas walked after her.
"No, no. Don't come any closer" Angelique said, stepping back until her back hit tree. "Don't come near, I'm warning you."
Barnabas smiled, "What will happen if I come?"
"I.. I will refuse to spent a night in your room tonight. And you will not get in mine."
"How horrible. I wouldn't let that happen." Barnabas said and came to her.
"No, don't touch me." Angelique said, trying not to smile.
"Alright." Barnabas hold his hands up, and stopped right front of her. "I'm not touching you."
Angelique nodded, "So I see."
"May I?"
"You may."
He kissed her gently, resting his hands on her waist.
She hugged him close and closed her eyes, gently rub his back as he lean against her.
 Feeling few drops of water falling on them, they broke the kiss and looked up.
"It's going to rain, come quickly" Barnabas took her hand in his own and run with her back to Collinwood.
 As they got back inside, they both were wet and laughing.
"You need hot bath" Angelique said, calming down but smiled still.
"You will fall ill if you don't get warm as well. Will you join me for bath?" Barnabas asked, gently wipe her wet hair from her face.
"If you want me to."
"It would be my pleasure." Barnabas said, hold out his hand.
"Or mine." Angelique smiled and gave him her hand...

 Barnabas woke up hearing thunder storm outside.
He got up and placed the letter carefully back to his pocket. Wandering around the manor now, he thought about his last dream.
Dream that was clear memory. Memory of those happy days he had spent with Angelique while his parents were traveling.
 He looked at the clock on wall, 2.46AM.
Considering it carefully, he finally changed his clothes, took his umbrella and left. It was highly possible he would not find Angeliques house, but he would not be able to just stay home and wait. He had to speak with her.
  Finding her was easier than he thought, as he saw her red sport car just leaving from Angel Bay. He quickly walked front of the car to stop it.
He saw that Angelique was clearly surprised and showed the door for him to come in the car.
 "What on earth are you doing here? At this time?" She asked.
"I came to look for you. Thank goodness you had not left the office yet."
Angelique looked confused but obviously curious. "Why you came to look for me Barnabas?"
"I need to speak with you."
Angelique raised eye brow, "Changed your mind?"
Barnabas looked at her, "Changed my..? What are you talking about?"
"Are you going to leave your little girlfriend without I have to kill her?"
Barnabas sighed, for moment he had forgot how difficult it was to talk with Angelique now days.
He took the letter from his pocket, "I found this. I want to talk about it."
Angelique looked at the letter, totally confused.
"You found old piece of paper and you came to look for me? Barnabas have you lost your mind?"
He opened the letter and show it to her again, "Explain me this."
Now Angelique seemed to remember. She looked away, "There's nothing to talk about it."
"Yes there is. You have been carrying my child, you never told me."
"Things were too complicated!" Angelique said, clearly uncomfortable with subject and blinking her eyes few times to hide her tears.
Barnabas looked at her calmly and waited for while. "Why you didn't give this letter to me?"
"I changed my mind."
"No you didn't. Speak the truth Angelique, I know you are much better than this illusion you have build around yourself. In this, you said you would not hurt my beloved ones... You meant it. I believe, you wouldn't have done this all, if I, myself, wouldn't have hurt you. And I would have done things differently, if I would have known this. Why you didn't give this letter to me?"
Angelique looked down, "I was going to... But the night when I wrote it, was the night before the day you told me it would be a lie if you said you loved me." Tear fall down her cheek and she looked out of window, "I couldn't believe it first. I didn't want to believe you only used me. All that time... But the more I thought of those words you said, more I felt all my dreams shattering around me, along with all my love for you."
  Barnabas looked down now, he remembered well that day. He remembered that deeply hurt expression she had on her face when he said it wouldn't be true if he said he loved her.
 "I did love you... Back then. But I was afraid. My parents wouldn't have accept us. I was coward, I admit... I thought if I denied my love, you would have maybe slap me and tell me you didn't want to see me ever again, or maybe you would have see through me and somehow, still keep meeting me... I wasn't brave enough to tell my parents that I was in love with our maid. And after they died, I was too obsessed with finding reason to their death, I saw too lost in my sorrow, I didn't know how to fix things between us. I couldn't bear that hatred you felt for me. When I met Josette, I thought I could move on. She was my new beginning. New life.  She was sweet, sometimes nearly reminded me of you. But I thought you would never forgive me, and I decided to focus on Josette and finally I did love her."
 Angelique seemed to be in some kind of trance. She had stopped crying and she kept staring out of window like frozen.
 Barnabas turned to look at her, "Angelique? Did you hear me?"
Angelique blinked, "If I now forgive you... Would you love me again?"
Barnabas couldn't help but smile a bit, "You never give up on hope."
Angelique looked at him, "Should I?"
Barnabas looked at her for while and then quickly away. Now that Angelique acted like her old self, and they understood each other more again, something felt so good and safe. But he still deeply cared for his beloved Victoria.
 "I doubt I will never fully get over my feelings for you Angelique, but I would not bear the thought of breaking my beloved Victoria's heart."
Angelique looked hurt, but didn't say anything. Her eyes were cold as ice and if looks could kill, her look was cold enough to kill whole town.
Barnabas closed his eyes, "I wish I wouldn't have hurt you so. You could have become a wonderful wife for someone else. I don't deny, I would have been jealous to see you with someone else... But I would have want to see you happy."
"Get out." Angelique said coldly.
Barnabas looked at her, "Angelique, I cannot tell you how sorry I am. If I could turn back time, I would not-"
"Get out before I kill that pathetic little girlfriend of yours, rip out her heart and make you eat it." Angelique warned.
Barnabas got pale, her bitterness was harder to bear than her hatred.
"Angelique, you do no such thing. Victoria has not done anything for you."
Angelique hissed angrily and slap him, scratcing bruises on his pale cheek.
Barnabas placed his hand on his cheek, one last time trying to control the woman who once sweared to love him so much. "Angelique, you are better than this."
"Get out!"
"Because you are afraid that you would not be able to hurt me as much as you now wish to?! You are not born to be evil Angelique! You were sweet girl, grown up to be lovable woman. Why you let that woman disappear? Someone else could have loved you more than I did. You could have become happy, you could have got family, you could have been very much loved."
"I don't want anyone else."
"Then why you keep hurting me? I didn't fell in love with cruel witch who destroyed everything I loved. I fell in love with a woman, who was kind and caring. Who was as beautiful from inside as she was outside. I fell for you, because you was good... What good there is anymore left in you that I could love?" Barnabas asked and took his umbrella, opened the car door and left.
Angelique watched him go and felt small cracks appear to her face and neck.
"If I cannot have you... No one else will either."
She started her car again and drive back home, now ready to sent Barnabas in his darkest end he could ever imagine.